#FictionFriday 236: your main character is in the process of escaping…

To get practice reading out loud and help generating ideas I’m taking part in Write Anything’s Fiction Friday challenge this month. Below is my first effort. I wrote for five minutes, then a couple more, checked the spelling, changed a word or two but resisted editing. That was very hard! This week’s fragment is 301 words long.

(The spoken version is on Audioboo.)

Fragment, December 02

She tore out of the cellar, scraping her shoulder as she pushed through the broken window, and ran across the garden. She didn’t dare look behind her to see if she was being followed but focused on running as fast and as far as she could. At the end of the garden she vaulted the fence and continued running, ignoring the fact that she was trespassing. She didn’t know anyone here. That was part of her problem.

The rain cooled her body but her breathing became laboured quickly. The sound of the rain and her own breathing made it difficult to hear anything else. The hair at the back of her neck prickled as she jumped over a second fence. She was sure that there was someone, something, just behind her. She moved a little faster. The wet grass was slippery and she almost fell when she landed after jumping another fence.

She rested for a second, crouching below the white picket fence she’d just jumped over. She caught a glimpse behind her. She couldn’t see anyone. There was no one there, no one coming after her. No shadows in the rain, no movement at all. She was relieved but also worried. They couldn’t just let her go so if they weren’t behind her, they must be ahead of her, or running alongside her. They had to be close. What was their plan?

She looked frantically around and was startled to see a small boy standing in the garden behind her. He was wearing a baby-blue onesie and sucking his thumb. His blond hair was plastered to his head, water running down his face. He was drenched.

“What are you doing?” he said, taking his thumb from his mouth. “Are you playing hide and seek?”

“Kind of,” she answered. “Kind of.”

6 comments on “#FictionFriday 236: your main character is in the process of escaping…

  1. I like how the suspense built up to a child in a onesie. I just found the Fiction Friday post today. I want to write something and post a link to it this Friday. I have a question. Do you think you would expand on this story ever, or maybe take part of the scene and use it in a later story?

    • Thank you, David. I think I might use this in something: I quite like the image of the rain and the little boy. When I looked at this week’s prompt I considered starting where I finished last week and just carrying on. Can’t you just see zombies there, somewhere, in the rain?

      It’s already proved a fun excercise. Give it a try!

  2. Caroline, thanks for participating in the Fiction Friday writing. I enjoyed reading this. The suspense was great, can’t wait to read today’s. Mine for the same day is here:

  3. Thank you, Ian. I enjoyed reading your story too – good action. The fact that it is about a character you know and have worked with/on for some time also made it interesting.

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